From Scarcity to Abundance: I am More than the Reality of my Dreams

By Amani Richardson. Photography by Deun Ivory.

At what point are you satisfied with all that you are and all that you’ve done? With all dreams come solid practice and effort to maintain them. And with all dreams, there’s a possibility that they won’t all turn out exactly how you’ve envisioned. Through seasons of transition it’s easy to become complacent and grope about how shitty your situation is. But, shifting your focus from a place to scarcity to an abundance of opportunity is the start to manifesting better in your life. I could tell you all about how I lost my dream job in New York City and my process with depression, but I am more than that. There is so much more about myself that I hold innately that would open doors farther than my imagination can conceive. The grey area that doesn’t make the highlight reels on Instagram and the not so pretty process of healing pain are the moments that have shaped me into who I am. And through my pain I have reaffirmed-- I am already enough. I am enough because I can connect to my emotions and cry. I am enough because I am able to know when to call on my friends. And I am enough because no matter what opportunity tells me ‘no’, I will always say ‘yes’ to myself.

And if you too have lost a dream or experiencing a season of hardness, I leave you with pieces of me to reassure you: although opportunity and happiness may seem scarce, your ability to heal and connect to your source is abundant. You are already enough.

Honor your cry.

When you have real fears of financial instability and notice the back pedaling from your dreams of moving to New York City; you’ll have nothing to give but aches and wells of tears. I’ve found great comfort in knowing that my body is a home for me to retreat to and be the most vulnerable with. I can express so much gratitude for my body having the ability to send signs of when it’s time to release and let go. Yes it hurts to be delayed to moving to NYC, but what’s more comforting is knowing I don’t ever have to delay or deny my emotions.

Honor your tribe.

I know that I like to play shero and superwoman all day, but it’s just not realistic. And damnit, it feels good knowing that someone’s got my back. It’s also important to allow the people in your circle to be your backbone, when you’re trying aimlessly to piece back together your own puzzle. It’s not that we connect with our friends and loved ones for the answers to our problems, but it’s the soothing sensation and gentle reminders they whisper to let us know again, you are already enough. It is because I emit loving energy, that I am able to attract a loving circle of sisters. And because of this I am enough.  

Don’t quit on your daydream, even without the title.

My work as a writer and digital creative is the source and the root of my joy. I’ve quickly learned through this transition to never let a pretty title diminish my pride and joy in what I do a damn good job at already. They’ll miss me once I’m gone, but by then I’ll already have leveled up.

Nonetheless, I am woman first. And with this comes a great deal of strength, delicacy, resilliency and a lineage of other women before me who remind me that before there was me, there was no title. Just a firm belief and effort in one’s ability to own the work they do. This notion of  ‘tribe’, in which I am rooted from, is what keeps me grounded and refraining from diminishing my worth as a creative just because a publication denied me the title. Because I am a student to my talents and my creative pursuits, I am already enough to secure forthcoming opportunities.

Create ways to heal daily.

Find what makes your heart sing and find what makes space for you to escape your seemingly frightful reality. I’ll leave a few bits of mine, in case you’ll need help along the way:

  1. Make room for silence, sage your space and light your favorite candle

  2. Listen closely to your body: Perhaps run a warm bubble bath, go for a walk or practice taking a few deep breaths.

  3. Reclaim your sensuality and spend a little extra time on your beauty routine in the morning before you head out into the world

  4. Nourish: Eat foods and hydrate with what feeds your soul and makes your tummy sing

  5. Rest: And get a lot of it.

Not everyday is easy while growing through seasons of transitions and you shouldn’t expect it to be. Reaffirming that “You are enough” while doing the work to better your healing practices is all you need to stay in alignment for what is yet to come.

Amani Richardson is published author to-be. Currently, she is the Editor in Chief for the Sad Girls Club, which is  woman of color driven mental health organization de-stigmatizing conversations surrounding mental health. She's also done previous work with BuzzFeed and Vice's Broadly vertical. Alongside her editorial work, she is diving into the world of freelance and pursuing her creative talents in web design, content creation and social media management. You can find her chatting about astrology and raving about her favorite tea and candles on the web.

Instagram: @amanirakeia

Twitter: @amanirakeia