Episode 42 — Destigmatize Your Desire with Ev’Yan Whitney

Let’s talk about sex, baby... but for real though! Black Girl In Om Founder, Lauren Ash and Art Director, Deun Ivory are sharing all types of fortifying, affirming, and healing thoughts on this topic with exceptional educator and sexuality doula, Ev’Yan Whitney. As she once shared on her Instagram, “a womxn doesn’t have to be modest to be respected” and we are all the way here for it, her message, and all she teaches and reflect on across her platforms. In this incredibly enriching, honest conversation, we explore sexuality and sensuality in a way we’ve never done before. We’re discussing trauma, the importance of therapy, real deal self-awareness, and so much more. You definitely want to get your journals out for this one because Ev’Yan has a number of questions you should ask yourself to explore your own liberation right now. Ev’Yan Whitney is at peace with her sexuality. By sharing the wisdom held in this conversation, we’re manifesting the same for all of you.

Catch more from Ev’Yan on her website, her podcast, The Sexually Liberated Woman, and on her Instagram.


  • Why this is such an important conversation to chat through as a community, especially as Black women

  • The unique journey Ev’Yan took to her current life path

  • How Ev’Yan was able to make the shift to own her sexual pleasure

  • A series of questions that gradually brought Ev’Yan to a meaningful awakening

  • How Black women + femmes can step into their relationship with sex, in their own terms

  • The importance of prioritizing a personal relationship vs. a performative relationship with sexuality

  • Ev’Yan’s definition of a sexual relationship with self + different examples of how it can manifest

  • Sexual self-care and how you can create it in your daily life (shout out to our favorite body butter)

  • Ways to combat stigmas with initiating sex and stating exactly what you desire

  • The ways relationships can create space for growth along the journey to liberation

  • A possible connection to the throat chakra Ev’Yan is exploring in her own life + how it ties back to this confident Libra lady

  • Steps one can take to overcome sexual trauma in a major way

  • The space Deun is creating for us to do the healing we need

  • A transformational experience Lauren experienced at the top this year that ties back a previous guest of the show, Danielle Lyles Barton

  • The way this conversation relates to an important theme of last year — read through some of the work exploring it here

Everything is completely Divine, even the things we consider our lows. — @deunivory click to tweet

Having these conversations, especially as Black women... we have already done some healing work. — @HelloLaurenAsh click to tweet

I was witnessing other people’s expressions of sexuality and thinking that I had to be that. — Ev’Yan Whitney click to tweet

What would it look like for me to be a sexually liberated woman? — Ev’Yan Whitney click to tweet

I get to choose who I am as a sexual being. That’s sexual liberation, right there. — Ev’Yan Whitney click to tweet

It has to start with you giving yourself permission to think about it, to talk about it, to explore it, to really dig into it. — @deunivory click to tweet

I believe that your sexual energy is an intrinsic part of you. — Ev’Yan Whitney click to tweet

Bring some focus and gentle energy into the sexual relationship you have with yourself. — Ev’Yan Whitney click to tweet

I’m not going to shrink myself. I’m not going to make my requests or my wants or my desires small. — Ev’Yan Whitney click to tweet

We are allowed to experience pleasure. — Ev’Yan Whitney click to tweet

Therapy allowed me to give strength, love, compassion, and even forgiveness to that part of myself that was made vulnerable and didn’t know any better. — Ev’Yan Whitney click to tweet

If you could have your perfect sexual experience, what sort of experience do you want to have? — Ev’Yan Whitney click to tweet

You’re not alone. It wasn’t your fault. We believe you. — Ev’Yan Whitney click to tweet

The trauma that Black women and Black femmes have sustained regarding their sexuality is so nuanced. — Ev’Yan Whitney click to tweet

It’s in spaces with other women who can relate to us that we finally feel the ability to exhale. — @HelloLaurenAsh click to tweet

The more that we have these conversations, the more we bring it into the light and we release the stigma. — Ev’Yan Whitney click to tweet

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