No Longer a Victim to Circumstance: On Learning to Be a Proactive vs. Reactive Driver of My Life

By Noemie Tshinanga. Photography by Deun Ivory. 

It’s a new week. Another new day where I have no idea what will happen. Another inhale where I must remind myself that I am in control, and exhale knowing I have the power to drive down this long journey of life. You know there’s that phrase ‘Jesus take the wheel’, and a lot of times in the past I’d ask God to drive for me, and He does it so happily and graciously. However recently, He told me ‘Noemie, you’ve watched me drive. You’ve studied me carefully, now it’s your turn to take the wheel’. I’m just like, ‘Bruh but what if I mess up? What if I take a wrong turn? What if I miss a turn? Drive too slow?


But you know what God did? He stopped the car, we switched sides-I’m the driver, He’s the passenger and He waited. He waits with a smile, no pressure, no side-eye, no anger, just patience. “I’m ready, whenever you are.” 

Yo, if God is THIS patient with me and believes in me, why am I worried?

So that’s where we are right now, me driving. Me being an active driver in my life. Me no longer allowing the days to control me. I used to fall victim to my circumstances. I used to constantly remind myself of my struggle and pain and bask in it as if moping around would bring a solution. But it only brought un-promised attention, and a stream of pity. Solutions weren’t found in tears, they weren’t found in comparisons or doubt, they were found in action.

They were found in love.

Being the driver of your life comes with responsibility and expectation, two things that we tend to be afraid of as we often feel like we’re not capable of fulfilling them.

Hence why maybe it’s easier for us to be the passenger, because as a passenger if something goes wrong we’re able to avoid being at fault. However that approach is far from nurturing and I promise there’s a way to fail and enjoy it! How? Well, think about how you view yourself.

Think about the value you place on yourself, your worth. THIS is where self-love is important. If you view yourself as a Queen, deserving of all things that brings out your best self, you’re willing to do anything in your power to reach that level of greatness and if you stumble, you get back up because you’re not focused on the missteps of your journey-  you’re focused on you.

At the end of the day, this is about you. 

Now once you’ve reached the point of acceptance that you are able and strong enough to handle any challenge coming your way (because you totally are), it’s time to be active. Shoot your shot, as we often say, but shoot it in a sense of stopping at nothing to reach your goal, whether your goal is getting a new job or laughing three times a day.

In the process of reaching your goal, remember to be patient and kind with yourself…after all that’s what love is.

So view this new day with excitement because this day holds a new thought, a new person, a new idea that will fill your soul with purpose. Stop viewing your life as a land mine in which you’re nervous to take a step in fear of causing an explosion. Be BOLD. Get excited for challenges because when you accomplish each one, you’re one step closer to your goal and you also get stronger in the process. God has plans for you, that are specifically assigned for you, and He can’t wait to see you take action. So get ready, and drive.

Noemie Tshinanga is a curious, loving human being who wants to create for the rest of her life. She spends most of her time in some form of creation whether developing websites, designing visual aesthetics for brands, or capturing the life that surrounds her with her camera. Follow Noemie on Instagram @noemiemarguerite and view her personal website: