10 Ways to Love Yourself Authentically

By Destiny Thomas

The journey of self-love is far from perfect. It is a journey that consists of continuous growth, patience, time, strength and realization. Self-love is a part of growth and can be a challenge for some. Being as though in today’s society women of color are told to deem attributes that make their overall being unique to be seen as ugly instead. We are constantly being told and shown all of their wrong things which unfortunately causes us women of color to not have the ability to grow boldly, freely, and authentically. We are taught to hate every inch of who we are from the hair that grows through the layers of our scalp to the way our shoulders stand tall to the lines on the inner corners of our thighs to the way our skin glistens ever so beautifully in the rhythm of light.

It can be quite hard being a woman of color in today’s society. The chances of finding spaces that will allow us to bloom gracefully and unapologetically doesn’t come a dime a dozen. It is imperative that every woman of color knows how mighty powerful she is despite the negative connotations that she may hear. Spaces such as Black Girl In Om, gives women of color the courage and strength to keep going no matter the circumstance. We are given a space that reassures us that indeed we are beautiful and that it is okay to treat and love yourself as such.

1. Keep in mind that the journey of loving yourself will not occur overnight. Be okay with that, for  every moment counts. Cherish the time that you take out to love yourself just a tad bit more each day.

2.  Do you see all of those insecurities that were embedded within you from birth to now? If so, I want you to face everything about yourself that you do not like. I want you to peel away each layer carefully as if those qualities will help strengthen every crevice of your body and soul. It’s okay, to be afraid. Be sure to peel each layer away with love and truth as if they were implanted into the bones of your skin and in the tunnels of your cheeks. Take as much time as you need for a process such as this takes patience and a consistent effort.

3. Do you see all of the lies that you’ve been told over the years? Get rid of them. Eliminate every rude remark and negative thought from the depths of your mind for those messages were shared with everything except love, joy, and peace.

4. Look at yourself in the mirror.  Dance around. Act as if you were a supermodel starring in a runway show. Embrace every curve that lies on your being, shamelessly. Ease your mind from all of the doubts, worry, shame, guilt, and pain.
5.  Treat yourself with care. Spend less time worrying about what is wrong for that will only make matters worse. Instead, pay close attention to all of the pieces of who you are that make you unique. Let go of every false act of kindness, and love that you have experienced in the past. Now, is the time to truly grow in all that you are. This time around will be filled with dignity, power, and acceptance.

6. Refrain from keeping those of bad energy around. Stay close to the souls who bring peace to your mind. Stay close to the souls who bring your heart warmth. Stay close to the souls who have the ability to awaken every insecurity from underneath you with laughter and love.

7. Never compare your journey to another. Remember that, everyone has a journey of their own to fulfill. You were given a journey to help you grow beautifully as a person from the inside to the out. Please, understand that you are moving towards recognizing your power without apology. Take heed of that.

8. What is your heart telling you to do? Whatever it is telling you to do be sure to follow it. Follow the melody of your heart. Follow the spirit that is within for it will never lead you in harm’s way. Trust that gut feeling that arises in the pit of your stomach often times than none.

9. Please. Never settle. You deserve a love that will warm the insides of your chest. You deserve a love that will inspire every bone in your body. You deserve a love that has the ability to show you parts of yourself that you’ve never seen before. You deserve a love that doesn’t have the ability to fade even through the rain days. You deserve a love that will be there for you no matter the circumstance that you are in. You deserve a love that will bring you everlasting joy, peace, hope, and love.

10. Do know that when you are in tuned with every beautiful piece of your being, the magic of life will unfold right before your eyes. Always, remain true to yourself even when no one seems to do the same. Never let anyone have the audacity to tell you that you’re unworthy. Believe in your capabilities. Believe in your journey. Believe that great opportunities will come when the time permits itself to. Keep the faith even when you feel as though you have nothing left. Faith can move mountains my dear, never forget that.



Destiny Thomas is an Atlanta based blogger. She contributes to Black Girl In Om because she believes that it is a space that allows women of color to soar freely. It is an honor to have the ability to contribute to a space that gives women of color reassurance no matter the situation. You can find her at her website, Instagram (@_herbeautyspeaks), Twitter (@herbeautyspeaks) and Facebook.