Do I, Zakkiyyah, love myself enough to accept myself as a whole? The good and bad included? The failures and triumphs included? The hate and love included? The shame and pride included? The kind of self-love I strive for is radical, unapologetic and it is a commitment. In raw form, from my own experiences, vulnerability is ultimately tied to self-love, or lack thereof.
Self-vulnerability requires taking a mirror to yourself and stepping face to face with all that is within you, whether you are pulling from the joys...or the pains. And yes, it can be excruciatingly painful, especially for those of us who have never sought after our own vulnerability, but you have to embrace it all. If you have to cry and shed heavy tears, do that. If you have to laugh, do that. If you have to embarrass yourself, do that. If you have to hug yourself, do that. Strive to be yourself as you are. Do whatever it takes to seize the joys and pains that will contribute to your own vulnerability and, ultimately, love of self. My highest dimension of vulnerability can only exist if I am my most authentic self; and I’m striving to be just that. Every. Single. Day. Who am I to be vulnerable with myself if I can’t confront my deep seeded fears, the shame and insecurities? This has become my most essential responsibility. I owe this to myself.
A partner of mine once expressed this to me:
“I speak into the universe that you may find all you need in yourself and that you are happy with who you are now and who you will become, because you cannot become the Zakkiyyah you seek until you love who you are…”
We limit our fullest potential, confidence, and joy when we don’t completely love who we are. You have to love everything about you. I’ve lived in the agony of hiding from myself, out of fear. Out of insecurity. I have had my fair share of battling with the discomfort of navigating myself, but in the process I am finding love, joy and acceptance. And it’s beautiful, by my own definitions. On my own terms.
Share an exhale with me if you’re ready to be defiant in your vulnerability...